Denial
My mother does not know that she has a psychological problem. "I do not have a problem and I know it. I have peace from God. I am fine" she explains.
As a result, she refuses to seek treatment. ("I am not going to submit to any mental health examination because I don't have any problems. Got that? Do you understand?")
On some level she must realize that there is something wrong, and that is what scares her to death. The mere suggestion that seeking help would be beneficial will cause her to become highly defensive or provoke her outbursts of anger. She is afraid that we will try and have her committed to a local mental hospital.
She has recently tried finding ways to "prove" that she is not mentally ill. It is impossible because "the Holy Spirit gives [her] a sound mind," she says, once again quoting the Bible out of context.
Reasoning with her is impossible. She will simply tune you out and shout over you "please leave me alone. Stop this now! I don't have this problem."
Projection
Denial and projection go hand in hand. Since she does not have any problems at all, it must be everyone else that has the problem.
She is convinced that everyone wrongly believes that she is mentally ill because, in fact, everyone else is mentally ill. As a hypochondriac, she sees her difficulties as being physically-caused and believes that the rest of us can't "see the truth" because of our own mental deficits. "I hope that you will someday understand about my health and menopause" she recently wrote to my brother, referencing one of the many physical conditions that she supposedly suffers from.
"You need to tell our children that I do not have a mental illness. You have been off in your head. I have not been diagnosed and I'm not going to be" she told my father today. The main recipient of her verbal attacks is my father. "You need to have your head examined" seems to be one her favorite phrases. She more often tells him that he has a problem than he tells her. That, of course, is another problem entirely.
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label symptoms. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Symptoms part 2
Hypochondria
My mother has a long list of ever-changing yet always-present physical "ailments." Her hypochondria has escalated in recent years as a result of the internet. She is now a cyberchondriac, which according to Webster's New Word Dictionary means that she is "a hypochondriac who imagines that he or she has a particular disease based on medical information gleamed from the Internet." She will read about an obscure medical condition either online or in a book and will quickly become convinced that she suffers from that illness.
She truly believes that she is deathly ill. "I'm dying" or "I feel like I'm going to die" she will often say. Although she has said that she would be better off "with God" instead of "on this earth," it is clear that she fears death.
As a result of her numerous imagined illnesses she has a very large supply of nutritional supplements. She believes that each new purchase will be the one that will somehow solve her physical problems.
She has a very strict diet. There are numerous foods that she refuses to eat because she believes that she is allergic to them, or that they are not good for people with her blood type, or because they may be contaminated.
She is overweight and does have one allergy, however most of her illnesses only exist inside her imagination.
Today, after many complaints of a supposed UTI she went to the doctor, who of course found no such infection. She arrived home still insisting that she is ill, it's just that the doctor couldn't see it.
She enjoys letting people know how sick she is. So much so, in fact, that her pastor's wife has found it difficult to speak to her on Sunday mornings, knowing that she would be stuck listening to her complaints and unable to greet any of the other churchgoers.
She complains almost nonstop to anyone who will listen. ("I am too tired." "I am so thirsty." "I feel like I could die." "I am too hot." "I am so sick." "It stinks in here." "I can not keep up with it all." "There is too much to do.")
Failure to Take Responsibility for Own Actions
My mother refuses to acknowledge that she has contributed to any of her own problems.
She believes that she is unable to lose weight because of her metabolism, or "mercury poisoning," or her thyroid, or... anything else, except for her lack of exercise and her refusal to change her diet. She even blames the pediatrician, who instructed her parents, to feed her Karo syrup as an infant. That, she says, is what set her up to be overweight.
Lethargy
My mother's daily routine consists of sleeping, eating, and sitting on the couch with her laptop. She has not been employed for many years. She does not like light, and prefers to sit in the dark instead of opening up the curtains. Her lack of personal hygiene is also disturbing. She dislikes any form of exercise. She will not even go for a walk in her neighborhood.
There's more to come.
My mother has a long list of ever-changing yet always-present physical "ailments." Her hypochondria has escalated in recent years as a result of the internet. She is now a cyberchondriac, which according to Webster's New Word Dictionary means that she is "a hypochondriac who imagines that he or she has a particular disease based on medical information gleamed from the Internet." She will read about an obscure medical condition either online or in a book and will quickly become convinced that she suffers from that illness.
She truly believes that she is deathly ill. "I'm dying" or "I feel like I'm going to die" she will often say. Although she has said that she would be better off "with God" instead of "on this earth," it is clear that she fears death.
As a result of her numerous imagined illnesses she has a very large supply of nutritional supplements. She believes that each new purchase will be the one that will somehow solve her physical problems.
She has a very strict diet. There are numerous foods that she refuses to eat because she believes that she is allergic to them, or that they are not good for people with her blood type, or because they may be contaminated.
She is overweight and does have one allergy, however most of her illnesses only exist inside her imagination.
Today, after many complaints of a supposed UTI she went to the doctor, who of course found no such infection. She arrived home still insisting that she is ill, it's just that the doctor couldn't see it.
She enjoys letting people know how sick she is. So much so, in fact, that her pastor's wife has found it difficult to speak to her on Sunday mornings, knowing that she would be stuck listening to her complaints and unable to greet any of the other churchgoers.
She complains almost nonstop to anyone who will listen. ("I am too tired." "I am so thirsty." "I feel like I could die." "I am too hot." "I am so sick." "It stinks in here." "I can not keep up with it all." "There is too much to do.")
Failure to Take Responsibility for Own Actions
My mother refuses to acknowledge that she has contributed to any of her own problems.
She believes that she is unable to lose weight because of her metabolism, or "mercury poisoning," or her thyroid, or... anything else, except for her lack of exercise and her refusal to change her diet. She even blames the pediatrician, who instructed her parents, to feed her Karo syrup as an infant. That, she says, is what set her up to be overweight.
Lethargy
My mother's daily routine consists of sleeping, eating, and sitting on the couch with her laptop. She has not been employed for many years. She does not like light, and prefers to sit in the dark instead of opening up the curtains. Her lack of personal hygiene is also disturbing. She dislikes any form of exercise. She will not even go for a walk in her neighborhood.
There's more to come.
Symptoms
Let's talk about symptoms.
Paranoia
My mother is constantly worried about anything and everything. "I'm so worried right now" she will often say.
She believes that "everyone gangs up on" her. She is not able to trust anyone, as she believes that everyone is out to get her. She says that she can only trust in God. This means that she in unable to form a close relationship with anyone. It caused an alienation of family members who do not want to be around her. She does not trust her own spouse and believes that he would cheat on her if given the opportunity. She often accuses him of this.
She believes that others want to hide things from her. She reads her husband's e-mails and still accuses him of deceit. ("You say 'I'm on the phone' but you don't say who you're calling.")
She often feels that she has been emotionally hurt by others. She initially likes new acquaintances, only to develop a sense of distrust over time. She will misinterpret their actions or statements. ("I could just tell by the way she looked at me" she'll say.)
She fears that there are "scopers" watching her house in order to break into it. This means that she is afraid of leaving the house alone because it could be broken into while she's gone. She never answers her phone, preferring to listen to answering machine messages, since she thinks that calls could actually be from the "scopers," wanting to find out when she is at home.
She is afraid of everything. Even a simple insect entering the house will send her into a panic. Daily life has to be hard when everything has become so troublesome.
Paranoia
My mother is constantly worried about anything and everything. "I'm so worried right now" she will often say.
She believes that "everyone gangs up on" her. She is not able to trust anyone, as she believes that everyone is out to get her. She says that she can only trust in God. This means that she in unable to form a close relationship with anyone. It caused an alienation of family members who do not want to be around her. She does not trust her own spouse and believes that he would cheat on her if given the opportunity. She often accuses him of this.
She believes that others want to hide things from her. She reads her husband's e-mails and still accuses him of deceit. ("You say 'I'm on the phone' but you don't say who you're calling.")
She often feels that she has been emotionally hurt by others. She initially likes new acquaintances, only to develop a sense of distrust over time. She will misinterpret their actions or statements. ("I could just tell by the way she looked at me" she'll say.)
She fears that there are "scopers" watching her house in order to break into it. This means that she is afraid of leaving the house alone because it could be broken into while she's gone. She never answers her phone, preferring to listen to answering machine messages, since she thinks that calls could actually be from the "scopers," wanting to find out when she is at home.
She is afraid of everything. Even a simple insect entering the house will send her into a panic. Daily life has to be hard when everything has become so troublesome.
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