Blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating, two-timing, double dealing, mean mistreating, loving heart

My mother's rants seem to take a cyclical nature. For weeks she will focus on her health and all of her "illnesses," and then it suddenly shifts to a different topic, and then back to her health again.

She is currently fixated on the fact that my dad, according to her, is "interested in other women." She accuses him of all sorts of insane things, such as searching for her replacement, the desire to wife-swap, on-line relationships, being a "two-timer" and an inappropriate interest in his sister-in-law who lives 2,000 miles away.

Recently, while checking his e-mail, she noticed that he had friend requests from a social networking site sent by *gasp* women. But what could you expect from some one with a sneaky temperament? She of course was "shocked and disgusted" by this.

"If you want to stay married to me...." she began her spiel against social networking sites, their marriage-wrecking capabilities, and their satanic origins. "That is why marriages are broken and our society has such a high divorce rate. It is doing Satan's business" she explained.

"You have no discernment in your brain at all. These women out here are just horrible. Friend requesting you. And they're 18, 23, 24 and a 59 year old. You would not find that kind of crap in my e-mail. This is just filth. 'Chat, flirt, photos, games, and more!' They have pictures on there of women with their names and ages. You want to be associated with this kind of mess? I'm sick of it. Would you want your pastor to see that? It's too filthy for me to even send to you. It is pure carnality. You need to delete all of that. I just think it's wrong. Men are visually oriented and they have pictures of women. It's just wrong. Who got you into that anyway? Anybody that's a Christian should never be on stuff like that. I am shocked. That is despicable. You are a married man. You're not single. That is just a garbage site for people that are looking for hookers. You have a choice. What do you think your wife is? A numskull idiot? You think I've got an IQ of 10? That I'm not going to be looking into you? Well I'm going to be looking closer. I want to know who Sue is from church..."

Of course that is only the beginning. She will continue like this until she finally finds some other topic to complain about.

All I can think about is this.

You've got a thing or two to learn about me baby
'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
Well the love we had is gone
So blame it on your lying, cheating, cold dead-beating,
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart

Symptoms part 3

"Discernment"

My mother believes that she is able to see, notice, realize, or understand things that others are not able to perceive. She calls this "gift" discernment. Having this "gift from God" means that she is always right about everything.

"I'm telling you the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, through me" she has said, in attempt to explain how everything that she believes must be true. She knows everything, she's just "not understood by anyone" she says. ("You're the one that needs the understanding here. I've got the understanding.") In fact, everyone else does not know the truth because, unlike her, "they are all deceived."

"Can you read what's going on his mind?" my father asked her during a recent discussion, after she made paranoid accusations against another person.
"Yes. I can read people quite well" she replied.

She is very critical of others yet refuses to acknowledge any of her own faults. Correcting any misinformation that she may have is a futile effort. She will say that you are a "know-it-all" and will suggest that "your head might explode." She does not allow anyone time to argue against her opinions anyhow. She talks in long monologues, seldom allowing anyone else to speak. Her monologues are quite repetitive; she will often repeat the same ideas or phrases over and over. She will even become fixated on certain words, such as "treacherous" or "egregious," and will use them at every opportunity.

She loves to use religious references and often quotes bible verses out of context. If you do not agree with everything that she says then it is because "a prophet is not heard in their own country." She will tell you that "you're not on the right spiritual wavelength. You're on a satanic one. You're not on God's."

She views herself as some sort of martyr and says that she knows "exactly how Jesus Christ felt on the cross" because she, too, has been rejected and mistreated by others. She will say that she knows exactly how anyone else feels, for example, a person who is seriously ill. ("He has cancer? I know exactly how he feels because I am so sick and I feel so bad all the time and...") She will minimize others' struggles, no matter how great, in an effort to make her own seem important. ("Oh, she has heart disease? Well, my heart was in so much pain last December; I knew that I was going to die. It was such an intense pain and I...")

She also believes that she is somehow better than everyone else in the world. She looks down on others because, in her opinion, they do not eat as well as she does, or spend their money as wisely as she would, or perhaps because they are not as religious as she is. ("They're such new Christians... They have not been taught.")

She explains others' behaviors, which she views negatively, based on a book she read about "temperaments." She refers to everyone else that she knows as being "strong-willed" or having a "sneaky temperament." She herself, however, supposedly has a "compliant temperament."

No one else will ever be able to reach her level of perfection.