An Ultimatum

My brother came to visit in December. He spent his entire vacation attempting to clean up my mother's mess. No one would be surprised to find her house in a few years on an episode of "Hoarders," as it seems to get progressively worse, right alongside her mental illness.

My brother remained positive throughout the cleanup, as she was well behaved for much of the time. By the end, however, she could no longer contain her anxiety and ended up yelling at him to leave.

On his final day here, instead of enjoying his time with his parents, he spent his time searching for my mother's former psychiatrist, who she now refuses to see. He informed her that if she ever wanted to see or hear from him again, she would first need to take the medicine prescribed by her psychiatrist.

He left on New Year's Eve, yet my mother has no plans to seek treatment for her illness. She doesn't have an illness, of course, she claims, because "the Holy Spirit has given [her] a sound mind."

She says that medication is "for people that don't have God."

Blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating, two-timing, double dealing, mean mistreating, loving heart

My mother's rants seem to take a cyclical nature. For weeks she will focus on her health and all of her "illnesses," and then it suddenly shifts to a different topic, and then back to her health again.

She is currently fixated on the fact that my dad, according to her, is "interested in other women." She accuses him of all sorts of insane things, such as searching for her replacement, the desire to wife-swap, on-line relationships, being a "two-timer" and an inappropriate interest in his sister-in-law who lives 2,000 miles away.

Recently, while checking his e-mail, she noticed that he had friend requests from a social networking site sent by *gasp* women. But what could you expect from some one with a sneaky temperament? She of course was "shocked and disgusted" by this.

"If you want to stay married to me...." she began her spiel against social networking sites, their marriage-wrecking capabilities, and their satanic origins. "That is why marriages are broken and our society has such a high divorce rate. It is doing Satan's business" she explained.

"You have no discernment in your brain at all. These women out here are just horrible. Friend requesting you. And they're 18, 23, 24 and a 59 year old. You would not find that kind of crap in my e-mail. This is just filth. 'Chat, flirt, photos, games, and more!' They have pictures on there of women with their names and ages. You want to be associated with this kind of mess? I'm sick of it. Would you want your pastor to see that? It's too filthy for me to even send to you. It is pure carnality. You need to delete all of that. I just think it's wrong. Men are visually oriented and they have pictures of women. It's just wrong. Who got you into that anyway? Anybody that's a Christian should never be on stuff like that. I am shocked. That is despicable. You are a married man. You're not single. That is just a garbage site for people that are looking for hookers. You have a choice. What do you think your wife is? A numskull idiot? You think I've got an IQ of 10? That I'm not going to be looking into you? Well I'm going to be looking closer. I want to know who Sue is from church..."

Of course that is only the beginning. She will continue like this until she finally finds some other topic to complain about.

All I can think about is this.

You've got a thing or two to learn about me baby
'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
Well the love we had is gone
So blame it on your lying, cheating, cold dead-beating,
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart

Hypochodriac + Common Household Items = Danger

My mother recently visited a new doctor, not just any doctor, but a "naturopath". The purpose of her visit? She needed to discuss how to "detoxify". It seems that she was poisoned, she says, by an air freshener. Yes, that's right; she complained of pain, coughing, and difficulty breathing, all because she got a whiff of an air freshener. I never knew they could be so dangerous. What will she come up with next?

(Well, this morning it was foot pain, I believe. This evening it's been a sore neck.)

Anything that can be complained about, she will complain about.

What did hypochondriacs do before the internet?

Mercury poisoning, adrenal failure, iron toxicity, a sluggish liver, blepharitis, allergies, a weakened immune system, menopause, a slow metabolism, yeast infections, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, bad bacteria, osteopenia, leaky gut syndrome, hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism, back pain, chemical sensitivity and celiac disease.

These are just a few of the illnesses and conditions that my mother believes she suffers from. Keep in mind that to her, all of these are deadly illnesses that are slowly, yet constantly killing her. She does not ever go to the doctor in order to find out the state of her health, rather she goes to inform the doctor of what she is convinced that she has.

My husband says that in order for my mother's mental health to improve we must first remove her access to the internet. With as many hours as she spends reading about dangers to her health, we're sure that she would be scared away from any treatment by looking up rates of misdiagnosis for psychiatric patients or something similar.

I'll have to make a list sometime of the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of vitamins, remedies and nutritional supplements that she has.

With so many illnesses to be found and researched on the internet, it makes me wonder: What did hypochondriacs do before the internet?

Sometimes I worry about myself.

Mental illness seems to run in the family; it's not just my mother. Her whole entire family seems to have suffered from it to some extent. I remember hearing about some great aunt who went crazy. There's my uncle, who I recall was obsessed with germs and spent hours just washing his hands. From what I've heard about my mother's parents, I'm fairly certain they were not mentally healthy either. My aunt, however, is the only one with a known diagnosis: schizo-affective disorder. She's bipolar, schizophrenic, and also suffers from dissociative personality (multiple personality) disorder.

My dad has some sort of anxiety-related problems. It's probably secondary trauma from being around my mother for so long.

Just a few weeks ago my I found out from my brother that he has had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My aunt says not to worry, that I'm probably past the onset age for schizophrenia. For family members of schizophrenics, however, the risk of schizophrenia is ten times greater than that in the general population.

So I've told my husband that the day I start exhibiting any of my mother's symptoms he is to take me to the nearest psychiatrist as soon as he can; because that's about all that can be done.

In search of a cure

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "an estimated 26.2 percent of Americans ages 18 and older — about one in four adults — suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder." Mental illness is very prevalent in our society, yet far too often goes undiagnosed and untreated. My family and I have been greatly affected by this disease. Here I hope to share my story, not so much in an effort to entertain potential readers, but with the hope that I might find and offer support to others who have been affected, and that I myself might be able to find some way to help my family.