Not one problem, but two

Here's why sometimes it seems so hopeless:

My father has trouble recognizing what needs to be done. He lives in denial with regards to my mother's mental state.

My husband and I spoke to the pastor and his wife over lunch last Sunday. They know that we need to take action.

I spoke to my dad's psychiatrist as well, when he called a few nights ago. He agrees that my mother needs treatment and had a list of suggestions on how to accomplish this.

It seems as though everyone recognizes the severity of my mother's problems - everyone but my dad, anyway.

This evening I told my dad very clearly that my mother needs psychiatric help and that she needs medication.

His response?

"Well maybe there's some sort of natural alternative..."

Oh.
My.
Goodness.

Really, what can you say to that?

Blame it on your lying, cheating, cold deadbeating, two-timing, double dealing, mean mistreating, loving heart

My mother's rants seem to take a cyclical nature. For weeks she will focus on her health and all of her "illnesses," and then it suddenly shifts to a different topic, and then back to her health again.

She is currently fixated on the fact that my dad, according to her, is "interested in other women." She accuses him of all sorts of insane things, such as searching for her replacement, the desire to wife-swap, on-line relationships, being a "two-timer" and an inappropriate interest in his sister-in-law who lives 2,000 miles away.

Recently, while checking his e-mail, she noticed that he had friend requests from a social networking site sent by *gasp* women. But what could you expect from some one with a sneaky temperament? She of course was "shocked and disgusted" by this.

"If you want to stay married to me...." she began her spiel against social networking sites, their marriage-wrecking capabilities, and their satanic origins. "That is why marriages are broken and our society has such a high divorce rate. It is doing Satan's business" she explained.

"You have no discernment in your brain at all. These women out here are just horrible. Friend requesting you. And they're 18, 23, 24 and a 59 year old. You would not find that kind of crap in my e-mail. This is just filth. 'Chat, flirt, photos, games, and more!' They have pictures on there of women with their names and ages. You want to be associated with this kind of mess? I'm sick of it. Would you want your pastor to see that? It's too filthy for me to even send to you. It is pure carnality. You need to delete all of that. I just think it's wrong. Men are visually oriented and they have pictures of women. It's just wrong. Who got you into that anyway? Anybody that's a Christian should never be on stuff like that. I am shocked. That is despicable. You are a married man. You're not single. That is just a garbage site for people that are looking for hookers. You have a choice. What do you think your wife is? A numskull idiot? You think I've got an IQ of 10? That I'm not going to be looking into you? Well I'm going to be looking closer. I want to know who Sue is from church..."

Of course that is only the beginning. She will continue like this until she finally finds some other topic to complain about.

All I can think about is this.

You've got a thing or two to learn about me baby
'Cause I ain't taking it no more and I don't mean maybe
You don't know right from wrong
Well the love we had is gone
So blame it on your lying, cheating, cold dead-beating,
Two-timing, double dealing
Mean mistreating, loving heart

Hypochodriac + Common Household Items = Danger

My mother recently visited a new doctor, not just any doctor, but a "naturopath". The purpose of her visit? She needed to discuss how to "detoxify". It seems that she was poisoned, she says, by an air freshener. Yes, that's right; she complained of pain, coughing, and difficulty breathing, all because she got a whiff of an air freshener. I never knew they could be so dangerous. What will she come up with next?

(Well, this morning it was foot pain, I believe. This evening it's been a sore neck.)

Anything that can be complained about, she will complain about.