My brother came to visit in December. He spent his entire vacation attempting to clean up my mother's mess. No one would be surprised to find her house in a few years on an episode of "Hoarders," as it seems to get progressively worse, right alongside her mental illness.
My brother remained positive throughout the cleanup, as she was well behaved for much of the time. By the end, however, she could no longer contain her anxiety and ended up yelling at him to leave.
On his final day here, instead of enjoying his time with his parents, he spent his time searching for my mother's former psychiatrist, who she now refuses to see. He informed her that if she ever wanted to see or hear from him again, she would first need to take the medicine prescribed by her psychiatrist.
He left on New Year's Eve, yet my mother has no plans to seek treatment for her illness. She doesn't have an illness, of course, she claims, because "the Holy Spirit has given [her] a sound mind."
She says that medication is "for people that don't have God."
Showing posts with label denial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label denial. Show all posts
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Not one problem, but two
Here's why sometimes it seems so hopeless:
My father has trouble recognizing what needs to be done. He lives in denial with regards to my mother's mental state.
My husband and I spoke to the pastor and his wife over lunch last Sunday. They know that we need to take action.
I spoke to my dad's psychiatrist as well, when he called a few nights ago. He agrees that my mother needs treatment and had a list of suggestions on how to accomplish this.
It seems as though everyone recognizes the severity of my mother's problems - everyone but my dad, anyway.
This evening I told my dad very clearly that my mother needs psychiatric help and that she needs medication.
His response?
"Well maybe there's some sort of natural alternative..."
Oh.
My.
Goodness.
Really, what can you say to that?
My father has trouble recognizing what needs to be done. He lives in denial with regards to my mother's mental state.
My husband and I spoke to the pastor and his wife over lunch last Sunday. They know that we need to take action.
I spoke to my dad's psychiatrist as well, when he called a few nights ago. He agrees that my mother needs treatment and had a list of suggestions on how to accomplish this.
It seems as though everyone recognizes the severity of my mother's problems - everyone but my dad, anyway.
This evening I told my dad very clearly that my mother needs psychiatric help and that she needs medication.
His response?
"Well maybe there's some sort of natural alternative..."
Oh.
My.
Goodness.
Really, what can you say to that?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monologue - I am not!
"...I'm going to send them an e-mail so that you won't ever be telling anyone else that I'm mentally ill! You won't be telling lies like that! We're going to put a stop to this. If you want to stay married to me then you better. I am not depressed. We're going to straighten you out. And I do not have depression. I'm going to blow you right now with that pastor and they will know why it looks like I have depression! I guess what you do could give a person depression! But I do not have that. I am going to get you some help and accountability with the pastor and the psychiatrist. When we get done with you, you will never want to do that again! Your filth and garbage is coming out! I'm not the one with mental illness! There's going to be accountability. Is that okay?! Because it's going to have to be okay if you want to stay married to me. Is that clear mister?! Are you ready to be right with God and people and me?! Do you understand?! I'm going to let them know that you need to be watched over. You don't need to invite trouble. And I'm going to tell those pastors that you do invite trouble and you do need to be watched over. Don't you think it's appropriate to have accountability? These people are wimps and I'm not expecting much, but at least they will be clued in..."
...and on and on and on it goes...
...and on and on and on it goes...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sypmtoms part 4
Denial
My mother does not know that she has a psychological problem. "I do not have a problem and I know it. I have peace from God. I am fine" she explains.
As a result, she refuses to seek treatment. ("I am not going to submit to any mental health examination because I don't have any problems. Got that? Do you understand?")
On some level she must realize that there is something wrong, and that is what scares her to death. The mere suggestion that seeking help would be beneficial will cause her to become highly defensive or provoke her outbursts of anger. She is afraid that we will try and have her committed to a local mental hospital.
She has recently tried finding ways to "prove" that she is not mentally ill. It is impossible because "the Holy Spirit gives [her] a sound mind," she says, once again quoting the Bible out of context.
Reasoning with her is impossible. She will simply tune you out and shout over you "please leave me alone. Stop this now! I don't have this problem."
Projection
Denial and projection go hand in hand. Since she does not have any problems at all, it must be everyone else that has the problem.
She is convinced that everyone wrongly believes that she is mentally ill because, in fact, everyone else is mentally ill. As a hypochondriac, she sees her difficulties as being physically-caused and believes that the rest of us can't "see the truth" because of our own mental deficits. "I hope that you will someday understand about my health and menopause" she recently wrote to my brother, referencing one of the many physical conditions that she supposedly suffers from.
"You need to tell our children that I do not have a mental illness. You have been off in your head. I have not been diagnosed and I'm not going to be" she told my father today. The main recipient of her verbal attacks is my father. "You need to have your head examined" seems to be one her favorite phrases. She more often tells him that he has a problem than he tells her. That, of course, is another problem entirely.
My mother does not know that she has a psychological problem. "I do not have a problem and I know it. I have peace from God. I am fine" she explains.
As a result, she refuses to seek treatment. ("I am not going to submit to any mental health examination because I don't have any problems. Got that? Do you understand?")
On some level she must realize that there is something wrong, and that is what scares her to death. The mere suggestion that seeking help would be beneficial will cause her to become highly defensive or provoke her outbursts of anger. She is afraid that we will try and have her committed to a local mental hospital.
She has recently tried finding ways to "prove" that she is not mentally ill. It is impossible because "the Holy Spirit gives [her] a sound mind," she says, once again quoting the Bible out of context.
Reasoning with her is impossible. She will simply tune you out and shout over you "please leave me alone. Stop this now! I don't have this problem."
Projection
Denial and projection go hand in hand. Since she does not have any problems at all, it must be everyone else that has the problem.
She is convinced that everyone wrongly believes that she is mentally ill because, in fact, everyone else is mentally ill. As a hypochondriac, she sees her difficulties as being physically-caused and believes that the rest of us can't "see the truth" because of our own mental deficits. "I hope that you will someday understand about my health and menopause" she recently wrote to my brother, referencing one of the many physical conditions that she supposedly suffers from.
"You need to tell our children that I do not have a mental illness. You have been off in your head. I have not been diagnosed and I'm not going to be" she told my father today. The main recipient of her verbal attacks is my father. "You need to have your head examined" seems to be one her favorite phrases. She more often tells him that he has a problem than he tells her. That, of course, is another problem entirely.
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