Monologue - I am not!

"...I'm going to send them an e-mail so that you won't ever be telling anyone else that I'm mentally ill! You won't be telling lies like that! We're going to put a stop to this. If you want to stay married to me then you better. I am not depressed. We're going to straighten you out. And I do not have depression. I'm going to blow you right now with that pastor and they will know why it looks like I have depression! I guess what you do could give a person depression! But I do not have that. I am going to get you some help and accountability with the pastor and the psychiatrist. When we get done with you, you will never want to do that again! Your filth and garbage is coming out! I'm not the one with mental illness! There's going to be accountability. Is that okay?! Because it's going to have to be okay if you want to stay married to me. Is that clear mister?! Are you ready to be right with God and people and me?! Do you understand?! I'm going to let them know that you need to be watched over. You don't need to invite trouble. And I'm going to tell those pastors that you do invite trouble and you do need to be watched over. Don't you think it's appropriate to have accountability? These people are wimps and I'm not expecting much, but at least they will be clued in..."

...and on and on and on it goes...

Overheard

HIM: "I bought too much lunch meat this time. We need to make sure that we don't buy so much next time because it could spoil."

... Approximately 10 minutes later...
HER: (angrily) "Is that anyway to treat your wife who is sick, who feels like she is about to die?! Yelling at her?! Criticizing everything that she does?! 'Don't ever do that again!' you said. You yelled at me!"

HIM: (softly) "Did I yell at you?"

ME: (confused) "Do you even know what she's talking about? Because I have no idea what she's talking about." (vague feeling that this is not about to make sense)

HIM: "Well, I think she's talking about the meat."

ME: (huh?)

HER: " 'Don't ever do that again' he yelled at me."

ME: "No he didn't. That's not even what he said."

HER: "He has no idea what it feels like to have a headache and abdominal pain. You people always have to criticize me!"

Trauma

The article found here on Developmental Trauma Disorder explains how many problems are started.

"Traumatized children develop a view of the world that incorporates their betrayal and hurt... They easily misinterpret events in the direction of a return of trauma and helplessness which causes them to be constantly on-guard, frightened and over-reactive."

Although the article discusses trauma in children, much of it can still be applied to my mother.

What happens when you mention illness to a hypochondriac?

This evening I was not feeling well due to a sore throat. Not long after mentioning this to my mother, not surprisingly, she said that she also was getting sick. Ah, the power of suggestion.

Her solution? Colloidal silver. Eww. Turning blue does not look very appealing to me.

What did hypochondriacs do before the internet?

Mercury poisoning, adrenal failure, iron toxicity, a sluggish liver, blepharitis, allergies, a weakened immune system, menopause, a slow metabolism, yeast infections, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel syndrome, bad bacteria, osteopenia, leaky gut syndrome, hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism, back pain, chemical sensitivity and celiac disease.

These are just a few of the illnesses and conditions that my mother believes she suffers from. Keep in mind that to her, all of these are deadly illnesses that are slowly, yet constantly killing her. She does not ever go to the doctor in order to find out the state of her health, rather she goes to inform the doctor of what she is convinced that she has.

My husband says that in order for my mother's mental health to improve we must first remove her access to the internet. With as many hours as she spends reading about dangers to her health, we're sure that she would be scared away from any treatment by looking up rates of misdiagnosis for psychiatric patients or something similar.

I'll have to make a list sometime of the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of vitamins, remedies and nutritional supplements that she has.

With so many illnesses to be found and researched on the internet, it makes me wonder: What did hypochondriacs do before the internet?

Sometimes I worry about myself.

Mental illness seems to run in the family; it's not just my mother. Her whole entire family seems to have suffered from it to some extent. I remember hearing about some great aunt who went crazy. There's my uncle, who I recall was obsessed with germs and spent hours just washing his hands. From what I've heard about my mother's parents, I'm fairly certain they were not mentally healthy either. My aunt, however, is the only one with a known diagnosis: schizo-affective disorder. She's bipolar, schizophrenic, and also suffers from dissociative personality (multiple personality) disorder.

My dad has some sort of anxiety-related problems. It's probably secondary trauma from being around my mother for so long.

Just a few weeks ago my I found out from my brother that he has had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

My aunt says not to worry, that I'm probably past the onset age for schizophrenia. For family members of schizophrenics, however, the risk of schizophrenia is ten times greater than that in the general population.

So I've told my husband that the day I start exhibiting any of my mother's symptoms he is to take me to the nearest psychiatrist as soon as he can; because that's about all that can be done.

The Church Cake Fiasco

My mother no longer goes to church. She has decided that the church that she attended with my father must be some kind of cult. As a result of her paranoia, she believes that everyone at church is against her.

This all begin quite innocently. A few months ago, at a charitable event, someone asked if she had brought one of the cakes. If she brought a cake. Out of that simple question she has spun a tangled web of tales, none of which are true. It goes something like this:

It's obvious that the way that they asked the question implied that they disliked her cake. Why, it was actually quite offensive. Not only that, but they purposely offended her. Their behavior is shocking! And everyone at that church is always finding ways to offend her. They've never liked her cake. Or any of her food. She can tell by the way that they look at her. It's cultish. They couldn't possibly have the Holy Spirit. Oh, and that pastor. All he wants is her money. That's probably why his whole family doesn't like her anyway. They're not nice enough to her. It's not a real church. They're just pretending. Why would she want to be around such hateful people? She could never condone such egregious behavior. In fact, she "can't go to that church. It would be like asking [her] to go to a Buddhist temple. It's not right... It's frightening."

This has been followed, of course, by her quest to convince my dad that he can't go to church either.

She complains that he should not leave her alone on Sunday mornings. She complains that they should be going to the same place together. She complains that with regards to this situation, my dad has not done exactly what she says he should. She also complains that she feels like she's "a widow." Then she complains some more: "I'm a spiritual widow. It's very odd to be married and not things the same way."

This is only the beginning, as you might guess.

You've got to watch out for those people that try to make friendly conversation about your cake. They could be in a cult, you know. Just ask my mother. She can tell you.