"...I'm going to send them an e-mail so that you won't ever be telling anyone else that I'm mentally ill! You won't be telling lies like that! We're going to put a stop to this. If you want to stay married to me then you better. I am not depressed. We're going to straighten you out. And I do not have depression. I'm going to blow you right now with that pastor and they will know why it looks like I have depression! I guess what you do could give a person depression! But I do not have that. I am going to get you some help and accountability with the pastor and the psychiatrist. When we get done with you, you will never want to do that again! Your filth and garbage is coming out! I'm not the one with mental illness! There's going to be accountability. Is that okay?! Because it's going to have to be okay if you want to stay married to me. Is that clear mister?! Are you ready to be right with God and people and me?! Do you understand?! I'm going to let them know that you need to be watched over. You don't need to invite trouble. And I'm going to tell those pastors that you do invite trouble and you do need to be watched over. Don't you think it's appropriate to have accountability? These people are wimps and I'm not expecting much, but at least they will be clued in..."
...and on and on and on it goes...
Showing posts with label monologue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monologue. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Symptoms part 3
"Discernment"
My mother believes that she is able to see, notice, realize, or understand things that others are not able to perceive. She calls this "gift" discernment. Having this "gift from God" means that she is always right about everything.
"I'm telling you the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, through me" she has said, in attempt to explain how everything that she believes must be true. She knows everything, she's just "not understood by anyone" she says. ("You're the one that needs the understanding here. I've got the understanding.") In fact, everyone else does not know the truth because, unlike her, "they are all deceived."
"Can you read what's going on his mind?" my father asked her during a recent discussion, after she made paranoid accusations against another person.
"Yes. I can read people quite well" she replied.
She is very critical of others yet refuses to acknowledge any of her own faults. Correcting any misinformation that she may have is a futile effort. She will say that you are a "know-it-all" and will suggest that "your head might explode." She does not allow anyone time to argue against her opinions anyhow. She talks in long monologues, seldom allowing anyone else to speak. Her monologues are quite repetitive; she will often repeat the same ideas or phrases over and over. She will even become fixated on certain words, such as "treacherous" or "egregious," and will use them at every opportunity.
She loves to use religious references and often quotes bible verses out of context. If you do not agree with everything that she says then it is because "a prophet is not heard in their own country." She will tell you that "you're not on the right spiritual wavelength. You're on a satanic one. You're not on God's."
She views herself as some sort of martyr and says that she knows "exactly how Jesus Christ felt on the cross" because she, too, has been rejected and mistreated by others. She will say that she knows exactly how anyone else feels, for example, a person who is seriously ill. ("He has cancer? I know exactly how he feels because I am so sick and I feel so bad all the time and...") She will minimize others' struggles, no matter how great, in an effort to make her own seem important. ("Oh, she has heart disease? Well, my heart was in so much pain last December; I knew that I was going to die. It was such an intense pain and I...")
She also believes that she is somehow better than everyone else in the world. She looks down on others because, in her opinion, they do not eat as well as she does, or spend their money as wisely as she would, or perhaps because they are not as religious as she is. ("They're such new Christians... They have not been taught.")
She explains others' behaviors, which she views negatively, based on a book she read about "temperaments." She refers to everyone else that she knows as being "strong-willed" or having a "sneaky temperament." She herself, however, supposedly has a "compliant temperament."
No one else will ever be able to reach her level of perfection.
My mother believes that she is able to see, notice, realize, or understand things that others are not able to perceive. She calls this "gift" discernment. Having this "gift from God" means that she is always right about everything.
"I'm telling you the truth, as it comes from the Holy Spirit, through me" she has said, in attempt to explain how everything that she believes must be true. She knows everything, she's just "not understood by anyone" she says. ("You're the one that needs the understanding here. I've got the understanding.") In fact, everyone else does not know the truth because, unlike her, "they are all deceived."
"Can you read what's going on his mind?" my father asked her during a recent discussion, after she made paranoid accusations against another person.
"Yes. I can read people quite well" she replied.
She is very critical of others yet refuses to acknowledge any of her own faults. Correcting any misinformation that she may have is a futile effort. She will say that you are a "know-it-all" and will suggest that "your head might explode." She does not allow anyone time to argue against her opinions anyhow. She talks in long monologues, seldom allowing anyone else to speak. Her monologues are quite repetitive; she will often repeat the same ideas or phrases over and over. She will even become fixated on certain words, such as "treacherous" or "egregious," and will use them at every opportunity.
She loves to use religious references and often quotes bible verses out of context. If you do not agree with everything that she says then it is because "a prophet is not heard in their own country." She will tell you that "you're not on the right spiritual wavelength. You're on a satanic one. You're not on God's."
She views herself as some sort of martyr and says that she knows "exactly how Jesus Christ felt on the cross" because she, too, has been rejected and mistreated by others. She will say that she knows exactly how anyone else feels, for example, a person who is seriously ill. ("He has cancer? I know exactly how he feels because I am so sick and I feel so bad all the time and...") She will minimize others' struggles, no matter how great, in an effort to make her own seem important. ("Oh, she has heart disease? Well, my heart was in so much pain last December; I knew that I was going to die. It was such an intense pain and I...")
She also believes that she is somehow better than everyone else in the world. She looks down on others because, in her opinion, they do not eat as well as she does, or spend their money as wisely as she would, or perhaps because they are not as religious as she is. ("They're such new Christians... They have not been taught.")
She explains others' behaviors, which she views negatively, based on a book she read about "temperaments." She refers to everyone else that she knows as being "strong-willed" or having a "sneaky temperament." She herself, however, supposedly has a "compliant temperament."
No one else will ever be able to reach her level of perfection.
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